SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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