There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
