Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
