Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
