Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Congratulations! We have a period
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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