did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
