No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she looked like the before picture.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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