I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
