I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
