Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
