i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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