This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
