dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
