Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
