Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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