my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
be right there i have to get my cape
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize