i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
