I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
