i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
