connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
3 2 1 whiskey
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My ass is underappreciated
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
