Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
there was a trapeze. enough said
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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