He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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