I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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