it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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