my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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