I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
