who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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