You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize