wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
