I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
