Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
