So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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