ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize