so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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