Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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