Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
