You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
