I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
