you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
