dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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