batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
