So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
