i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
