This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
another moral hangover. fuck.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
