he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
