If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
