Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
