need another drink. this is the easiest way
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
