So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
