Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
