none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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