that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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