Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
