At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
