Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
